November 4, 2019 / Posted by:
McDonald’s announced yesterday that it dumped its CEO, Steve Easterbrook, for having a consensual relationship with another employee, which is a company violation. There is no word on who this employee is, but my guess is that it’s that purple sex monster Grimace. And somewhere, that diabolical Burger King is laughing with glee after hacking into Steve’s phone to get the McDick pics he sent his piece and forward them to McDonald’s Board.
According to The New York Times:
McDonald’s fired its CEO after he violated company policy by having a “consensual” relationship with an unnamed employee, the fast-food chain announced on Sunday.
In a news release, McDonald’s said Easterbrook was ousted “following the Board’s determination that he violated company policy and demonstrated poor judgment involving a recent consensual relationship with an employee.”
The company didn’t provide further details about the relationship.
Steve Easterbrook became the head bitch of McDonald’s in 2015, and since then he’s shown us what a horny ho he is by sexy-ing up the Hamburglar and putting out a holiday cup with someone holding their butt cheeks open. Steve Easterbrook has been letting his McDonald’s freak flag fly for the past four years and though he has been credited with helping create much needed innovative and technological savvy to the company, he still can’t have sex with employees.
Mr. Easterbrook, 52, had been widely credited with turning around McDonald’s after it posted one of its worst financial performances in years, in 2015. A native of Watford, England, who previously ran the company’s British business, Mr. Easterbrook emphasized technological innovation, striking food-delivery deals with the third-party apps Uber Eats and DoorDash and acquiring smaller companies that specialize in machine learning and artificial intelligence. Last year, Mr. Easterbrook was paid more than $15 million.
“There’s no question he’s been a very good C.E.O. during his time there,” said Jonathan Maze, the editor of the trade publication Restaurant Business.
The Wall Street Journal says that Steve will get six months severance and can’t work in the fast food game for two years. He’s already been replaced with Chris Kempczinski, McDonald’s former head of U.S. operations.
The scandal does seem mild considering the world we live in right now, and lord knows that people in the fast food game have done much, much worse (Hi, Jared from Subway). But there is a power dynamic between boss and employee, and he should’ve read his employee handbook closer. Plus he’s made millions upon millions from McDonald’s, so he and Grimace or Mayor McCheese or whoever he’s McFucking will be just fine!
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