Jamie: What about sex and dating?

Injured in 1993 at age 17, Paraplegic

FacingDisability.com – For Families Facing Spinal Cord Injury

Well, my husband today is who the intimacy happened with from the beginning; I never dated anyone except for him. I was so nervous that I sat down with him. And because I was nervous not only for the intimacy, and people in wheelchairs will appreciate this, the other stuff that goes on, the bathroom. You can intermingle the two because they go hand-in-hand sometimes because you don’t have any control. And so, I was so scared that that would interfere, that I was like, “okay.” I sat him down when we were dating, and I was like, “okay, sometimes I pee my pants, sometimes I have accidents.” And he’s like, “I don’t care, and I’m like, “oh wow, you are just like heaven-sent.” Like I couldn’t believe it, he just didn’t care, and he still doesn’t. But our situation is a little bit different. Like I waited until marriage to have sex. But he was so understanding, and it was all new, like I didn’t know what was going to happen. And so, for the first while it was like, “okay, how do we figure this out? How do we do this?” And we did, and it kind of made it fun and interesting, it wasn’t just normal boring—not boring, but it’s all great. But it was different for him and for me, and so we just kind of learned together.